Top 5 New Year’s Resolutions of Tokyo Men 1) Avoid being accused of molesting on the train, again 2) Get married to prove to family and coworkers I’m not homosexual 3) Stop hoping for boss to die and do something about it 4) Improve golf skills via daily practice on train platform 5) Kill self during off-peak commuting hour
Top 5 New Year’s Resolutions of Tokyo Women 1) Find a knight in shining armor and trap him with accidental pregnancy 2) Finally stop eating, subsist only on DHC supplements 3) Get at least 25 more point cards for cafés and handmade soap shops 4) Use my graduate degree in economics to get a better corporate job making tea 5) Speak in a higher-pitched voice to seem younger
Top 5 New Year’s Resolutions of Tokyo foreigners 1) Become Japanese 2) Study the language to find out what wife is saying on the phone 3) Eat McDonald’s only once per day 4) Get Gold Hub point card 5) Order coffee without the staff pointing at something
